Do I Get Back On?

I am off of metformin! Been off for 90 days and have had 3 cycles! This last one was a non medicated 32 day cycle!!

As a PCOS girl this is pretty amazing! DH and I are pretty excited and starting to talk about getting pregnant again.

But for the past month all I've been dong is thinking about babies. I keep dreaming that I am pregnant. Obviously, my subconscious is trying to work this whole thing out.

I know I am not going back to the RE until January. So if anything will try the old fashioned way. -- And we know how well that's worked for us in the past! \

I really torn on weather or not I am ready to jump back into the craziness of ttc. I've been pretty content having worked through some of my infertility baggage and know how crazy and heart breaking that infertility roller coaster can be.

UGH!

The Pee Stick Has Spoken

NOT PREGNANT

AF still MIA

What is going on with my body? Please somebody tell me! Just when I was down to a 28 day cycle. I was so happy that my ovaries were working and I was cycling every 28 days. Now who knows what this means. I am giving it till Monday, then I am calling the RE.

**Update**
AF arrive at approximately 13:27 EST

Clueless

No AF yet.

I can feel her coming....

And, yet CD 29

Have I officially missed a period?

Can I think I am pregnant? Anyone felt period cramps and was actually pregnant?

The pendulum keeps swinging.

I am going to POAS tomorrow. I've officially made it to CD 29 without POAS so I can be proud.

The Pendulum Swings

Back to Psychosis

So I haven't had a cramp since Saturday 6 PO. Usually I am all cramped out here on DC 23 AF knocking on my cervix.

What is going on! I am so freaking out! I just want to know. This has been the most emotional 2ww since IVF #1.

So now I don't know.

I want to POAS so badly. After Pee Stick 100 got thrown into the garbage, I vowed never to POAS again until AF was a bonafide no show.

DEAR LORD HELP ME!

Diagnosis: Psychosis

Well I am pack down to earth.

Translation:
WTF was I thinking?

Cramps started...

period in T -minus 7 days....

Psychosis or Symptoms

I think maybe I am pregnant.

Ok, I wish I was pregnant.

For the first time since our IF diagnosis, Harry and I had sex during ovulation. It’s not like we were on strike, but this month, it was as if the stars had aligned.

I new I was ovulating. I am sure of it. Since I’ve upped my Met I’ve been having a 26 – 28 day cycle. With the exception of my March PCOS Period I’ve been pretty regular.

So Sunday was my O day and Harry and had one of the greatest intimate encounters of our marriage. It was earth shaking. It wasn’t until we were way into it that I realized, “HOLY SMOKES! I AM OVULATING”.

So for the past 5 days I’ve been doing the maybe baby dance – for the first time in 2 years.

Yesterday I started feeling nausea – not vomit – just persistent nausea – the way I feel when I take estrogen for an FET.

Today the heartburn started – like when I am on the PIO shots.

I am insane.

You’re the only people who understand my insanity. I am sure in 10 days I’ll get my period and be back in the blues.

But could it be possible… is there a chance that one of Harry’s lazy, misshapen, confused sperm found its way to my obstinate egg?

I’ve already goggled pregnancy symptoms and the due date calculator.

Is hoping that is happened worth the potential disappointment?

And if I am pregnant what will I say to all those people who told me to relax, cause damit I WAS relaxing!

PCOS Strikes Back

CD 55 no period...

Could it be?

Is it possible??

Perhaps a Christmas Miracle. . .

Come on, Sunny Jenny, haven't you learned your lesson yet!!

It's just your PCOS acting up again!

My missing menstrual cycle promted me to visit my RE clinic. I do love them. They were so warm and welcoming. Its the first time I've been back since the canceled FET at the end of September.

Got the call this morning, "BETA is negative. Increase your MET to 2000 mg a day."

Oh, yeah, oh yeah!

Don't know where I am reproductively. Not ready for a fresh cycle but ready for a baby. Just hanging in there feeling more and more hopeless as everyone around me, fertile and infertile, conceive.

Bah, Humbug

My Ovaries Have Something Against Me

I don't know what I ever did to them but they're really starting to mess with me! Four days late now and I am getting more and more upset. You'd think after two years of waiting, hoping, and trying for a baby my ovaries would cooperate! Just when all the planets had aligned to make it possible for me and Harry to undergo IVF my ovaries have to kick up! UG! I am beginning to take it personally!

Maybe my ovaries are having their own little protest due to my SIL's impending birthing of my most adorable nephew? Perhaps there holding a sit in a vain attempt to cause my nephew to hurry the heck up and be born!

Yet perhaps it is the metformin that is reeking such havoc on my carefully timed and schedule fertility treatment. I started taking metformin in June 04 and my bloody aunt return promptly in August 04. Since then you could time a watch on my cycles. However, in the last 4 months I haven't been as diligent in taking my meds as prescribed. My endocrinologist prescribed 3 500mg pills a day - breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Never having liked being told what to do, I began to miss/skip my afternoon dose. Beside being incredibly forgetful I also completely dislike the side affect my afternoon delight left me with. Let's just say it kept me running to the bathroom... and it wasn't pretty. That's when AF decide to take her own sweet time. In my last visit with my RE I confessed my sin and promised to make amends. My beloved RE suggested that I take 1 pill in the morning and 2 at night. Now, understanding that my RE does have a medical degree and is a very capiable doctor and pioneer in the field of ART, I don't think her advice is working. EDIVENCE -4 DAYS LATE! So today I went back on my old plan of 3 times a day and timed 3 alarms to go off at 1 PM and tied a piece of string to my finger...


Whatever is going on I have never ever wanted a period so bad! period.

Bloody HURRY UP!! - No pun intended

I am late. Today should be CD 1 and Flow has not shown up. I am definitely NOT pregnant and AF absence has more to do with my PCOS than a baby. COULD YOU HURRY UP PLEASE!! Our next step is waiting for AF to arrive! I took out my IVF binder the other day (the first time since my IVF orientation) and looked over everything again. I must say that I am feeling like I understand something after reading so many blogs!

Two tests I have to have are a uterine sounding and a mock implantation. Do these hurt? Should I request valium? I am a sissy when it comes to anything in the pain arena. I especially hate anything gynecologically speaking! How I will deliver a child I cannot fathom. Once I get a bun in the oven I'll worry about how to get it out. Can I take drugs for these tests? I am going to ask my RE RN when I call once AF decides to show up! oooh, I felt a tingle....

So can anyone share their test stories and give me a clue? Should I go for valium or percocet?