How could I be so wrong.
That's what's most upsetting.
I really, honestly thought I was pregnant.
I am not one to hope or think this will work for me. For a long time I even doubted I would ever get pregnant.
To be so hopeful --to have convinced Harry
I am crushed
I don't know my body-- it lied to me.
My heart is so broken and now the miscarriage hurts all over again.
I didn't make it to Tuesday
I knew I should have waited. But my darling Harry bought some pee sticks.
And as I lay in bed at 4 am holding in my pee, Harry says,
"Please, go put us both out of your misery."
HPT - Negative
What if my body is misleading me. Can I be imagining all this?
11 dpIUI is very early - last time I tested 12 dpIUI and got the faintest positive.
My boobs feel like lead balloons and are very "hard".
We're a little disappointed but haven't lost all hope.
So I guess you could say...
To pee continued
Still crazy and pregnant (well I know I am crazy and I think I am pregnant).
I've never been more sure that I am pregnant. I always knew I'd know. I know my body. All those time I knew I wasn't pregnant but hoped I was. Now I know I am.
It's not so much that I am having symptoms but that I am not having PMS symptoms.
So, come with me, if you will, on a little journey. Let's review my 3 cycles.
IVF #1 - This is the first time I experienced killer cramps. I mean double over - this must be like labor (I know it's not really -humor me) - cramps. No other symptoms.
FET #1 - Well no cramps for FET #1 - but I am sure that was due to the PIO. I didn't get AF until a few days after I stopped the PIO. I also didn't have the backache and headache that I have now!
IUI#1 - Well IUI #1 had both pregnancy symptoms (headache and backache) as well as PMS symptoms (killer cramps).
IUI #2 - At 9 dpIUI NO PMS symptoms!!!
Holy moley!!
I am gonna PAOS on Tuesday.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
And that's a big deal.
Every cycle I get PMS cramps exactly 1 week before AF shows up. Like clock work.
The arrival of cramps have always signaled the end of the dream. Occasionally I'd try to fool myself that the cramps really didn't mean it was over--but I always knew it was over.
Well 1 week to go and so far NO CRAMPS!
So.... choo choo all aboard!
I think I am pregnant.
I don't want to think I am pregnant -- but I do!
I've had this constant back ache for the past 3 days. Like nothing I've experienced before.
It's sorta painful -- not horrible but I am definitely uncomfortable.
I've had a slight headache off and on again as well.
So, get your ticket and hop on board the crazy train cause it's leaving the station!
Tonight is trigger night.
IUI #2 scheduled for Thursday morning.
I am doing better but in a complete funk. This has been a horrible 3 weeks. It just seems like Harry and I have had so much crap hurled at us. Our latest crap is that Harry is having troubles at work. Hopefully these troubles will be resolved this week. I couldn't take it if Harry lost his job.
Move along.
