Surrounded

I am surrounded by pregnant women.

They're in the bookstore.

They're in the grocery check-out line.

They're in the elevator going to my RE's.

They're popping up everywhere! Why does it seem like everyone is getting pregnant...

Everyone but me....

It's really kind of commical. I knew I wasn't imagining things when Harry commented,

"What's with all the pregnant women?"

I found out last night that another friend is pregnant.

I found out from someone else. In the middle of a meeting. Not good.

I held it together. I am surprised. Maybe it's because she already has two little girls. But it still stings.

It stings to see so many people around me getting to have what I so desperately want. The jealousy is tortuous.

And now Giada announces she's pregnant! If Rachel announces she's pregnant, I'll loose it for sure!

Surrounded, I tell you!

3 dpiui

Lying in bed, the night before our last IUI, snuggled close to Harry; when completely out of the blue he says;

“CHOOO-CHOOO! All aboard the crazy train!”

How nice! My dear husband is prepared for this crazy 2 ww! I think he’s finally getting an idea of what it’s like to be the vessel of this insanity.

I strangely feel nothing. My left ovary is still a little sensitive but I feel nothing.

Our RE RN said, “It’s looked better” when asked about Harry’s sample.

I am not making any assumptions this cycle – after last month’s debacle – I am not going there again.

F.R.E.D

I hate them

2nd pee stick- BFN

Last time (when I was pregnant for a day) I used a different brand. I don't remember what brand. I am done with F.R.E.D - FOREVER!

Today is Not That Day - Again

I didn't make it to Tuesday

I knew I should have waited. But my darling Harry bought some pee sticks.

And as I lay in bed at 4 am holding in my pee, Harry says,

"Please, go put us both out of your misery."

HPT - Negative

What if my body is misleading me. Can I be imagining all this?

11 dpIUI is very early - last time I tested 12 dpIUI and got the faintest positive.

My boobs feel like lead balloons and are very "hard".

We're a little disappointed but haven't lost all hope.

So I guess you could say...

To pee continued

Just the Facts

Still crazy and pregnant (well I know I am crazy and I think I am pregnant).

I've never been more sure that I am pregnant. I always knew I'd know. I know my body. All those time I knew I wasn't pregnant but hoped I was. Now I know I am.

It's not so much that I am having symptoms but that I am not having PMS symptoms.

So, come with me, if you will, on a little journey. Let's review my 3 cycles.

IVF #1 - This is the first time I experienced killer cramps. I mean double over - this must be like labor (I know it's not really -humor me) - cramps. No other symptoms.

FET #1 - Well no cramps for FET #1 - but I am sure that was due to the PIO. I didn't get AF until a few days after I stopped the PIO. I also didn't have the backache and headache that I have now!

IUI#1 - Well IUI #1 had both pregnancy symptoms (headache and backache) as well as PMS symptoms (killer cramps).

IUI #2 - At 9 dpIUI NO PMS symptoms!!!

Holy moley!!

I am gonna PAOS on Tuesday.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

No Cramps

And that's a big deal.

Every cycle I get PMS cramps exactly 1 week before AF shows up. Like clock work.

The arrival of cramps have always signaled the end of the dream. Occasionally I'd try to fool myself that the cramps really didn't mean it was over--but I always knew it was over.

Well 1 week to go and so far NO CRAMPS!

So.... choo choo all aboard!

Hop on Board the Crazy Train

I think I am pregnant.

I don't want to think I am pregnant -- but I do!

I've had this constant back ache for the past 3 days. Like nothing I've experienced before.

It's sorta painful -- not horrible but I am definitely uncomfortable.

I've had a slight headache off and on again as well.

So, get your ticket and hop on board the crazy train cause it's leaving the station!