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Monday, October 26, 2009

On Hiatus

Well I am not sure if anyone is still reading this blog.



I could make a list of why I haven't posted but honestly I've had to distance myself from infertility to live.



Those of us suffering with infertility know the all consuming hold it has on every aspect of my life. For me this was especially true. Focusing on my infertility really caused me to loose joy in my life. So much of my time was spent living in the past and "what ifs"



I really let go of living there...in infertile land...



That's not too say I don't live with the pain everyday. May is especially hard for me. Seeing babies/children that are the age of a child I didn't have still hurts.



My youngest brother's wife is pregnant. I was able to take the news and utter a faked "Congratulations!" for him. I kept myself together on the phone and cried when I called my husband. The pain is still there and will be there forever. Learning to live beyond it is the challenge we all face.



I've been able to move on. I haven't given up my journey. I am only postponing it.



Hope you're all well and learning to move through the pain...

7 comments:

Thalia said...

good to hear from you. Sorry that things aren't easier.

Baby bump bound said...

Hi, I too am on a break and I completely know where you are at and what your are feeling. If you ever want to chat, feel free to write me back... you are not alone!!

Trying said...

I am new to blogging. Each of us have our stresses. I'm glad to hear you have stepped back from yours. Take the time to look around and remember what you do have!.. I hope you can find happiness. Working through things I find it easier to not ask why...but what. Nor why me? why us? why does this happen? ... but what? what can I change? what can learn? what can I do to make it better?...

Heather P. said...

I haven't blogged in 8 months. Thought I would come by and say Hi!! That is if you remember me

Ang said...

Hi - I, thankfully, stumbled onto your blog. PLEASE continue writing!! I'm also struggling w/ infertility and I don't usually read many women's blogs where they express such true, transparent emotions!!

Prayers for you...
Angela

Ang said...

hi! PLEASE CONTINUE WRITING! i, thankfully, stumbled onto your blog tonight and was comforted by your transparent words... ones there were SO near and dear to my heart. my husband and i are struggling w/ infertility too, and finding the JOY that comes only from the Lord....
thanks for being so open w/ your emotions. people all over - ME! - gain strength from your journey.... so, continue writing. please?

angela

Nelson said...

I saw your reply now only.
Its gr8 to know that you are courageous and joyfullin lord.
Praying for u always.

Nelson