Monday, April 24, 2006

Mindless Distraction

What a dirty trick! Jenny has tagged me! So here's how it works

1. Go write 6 random or weird facts/things/etc. about yourself in my comment box and on your blog, then tag six more people! Do this even if your not tagged, leave at least one interesting fact about yourself.

2. Then leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their comments telling them to read your blog.

So here are...

Six Interesting Things about Me

1. When I was in the 8th grade (13 years old) I danced to Madonna’s “Express Yourself” in the school talent show. Me, a chair, and some sparkly black leggings. Mind you I’ve had no formal training.
2. When I was little I use to “make” the boys play with me. My favorite game was Snow White. I remember my “tomb” being one of those tunnels on the play ground you crawl through. Yes, all the boys, even the “dwarfs” had to climb in the tube and give me, Snow White, a kiss.
3. I am 9 years older than my littlest bro. When he was a baby I use to wake him up and play with him! I also use to stick my feet through his play pin bars and let him suck on my toes. My 22 year USMC studly bro loves it when I tell that story!
4. I almost died White Water Rafting. The rapids where sissy rapids and I fell out in under a minute of entering the raft. But I really did almost die! And I dragged my future SIL (she’s was just my friend then) out of the raft as well. She didn’t almost die.
5. I am a daddy’s girl and proud of it! My relationship with my father has caused my mother some jealousy issues.
6. I cannot stand to hear nails being clipped. It’s worse than scrapping your nails on a chalk board. I have forbidden Harry from clipping his nails in front of me. He doesn’t listen.

I pass the baton to the following:
My Unborn Journal
Mary Ellen and Steve

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Next Step

We're moving forward

I don't want to move at all...

Even looking at my blog brings everything back

I miss #2 & #4

Called the RE RN on Monday. She says to come in on May 1 for b/w to see if I've ovulated.

I told her, "Yeah, you think I'll have ovulated"
"Well, do you want to make it later."
"I won't ovulate.... this is going to take forever..."
"Well come in and if you haven't ovulated we'll start the Prometrium again."

1 week Prometrium
1 Week waiting for AF

Then I start Lupron and Estrogen...

I just want to crawl under a rock

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


First time in my life my period was early.

It's official - IVF #1 is a failure, a bust, a lousy fuck up

Haven't really cried so much today. Did most of my crying yesterday when I saw the blood. Too numb to really feel anything. And to top it all off I think Jenny sent me the flu. :)

I call the RN on Monday to see what is next.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

All Hope is Lost

Saw Blood...

Freaked Out

Bought HPT


Saw More Blood

Flow is increasing


Well I've made it this far without a HPT.

I am manic. I swing from believing I am pregnant to being convinced that I am not.

Ok, so let's make a list:

Evidence of Pregnancy

  • Feel funny in my uterus. It does feel like there is something in there.
  • My breasts are a little sensitive-- especially my nipples
Evidence of NO Pregnancy
  • CRAMPS --I've been cramping for a week. Over the last few days the cramps have gotten really strong---much stronger than my normal PMS cramps.
  • No other pregnancy symptoms...i.e. morning sickness, tiredness, etc....

So tomorrow I go in for my BETA. I'll post tomorrow evening to let you know. I hope you're all doing well!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Somebody SLAP ME!!

I am completely manic!

I am having a break down! I can't wait another week! I started having cramps yesterday and today.... don't know what they could be (YEAH RIGHT!).... I am thinking I am not pregnant.

I've read everything I can find on pregnancy symptoms...cramping is one of them..but you see for the past 2 years I always told myself..."Self...yes you're cramping...but that could mean your pregnant and not necessarily related to the impending arrival of AF"


What makes it any different now!?? Why would I succeed when so many other women have failed! What makes me any different! My luck stinks in the first place so why would my first cycle work?


To top it all off I want to HPT and Harry doesn't! JERK!

Oh, there goes another cramp!

If it's negative I may crawl into another whole and cry for 100 years.

Monday, April 03, 2006

April Fool's Day Gift

You know it's funny... When Harry and I were first married we played a trick on my dad. Harry called him on April Fool's day 01 to tell him that I was pregnant (thinking he'd be upset because we were newly married). And now 5 years later on April 1 our little babies were transferred to my womb. Fitting I think.

So here are the promised pictures. Here is a picture of our 12 darlings. We've told grandma and grandpa that all 12 want conception cards as well as Christmas presents. Number 11 (the elephant man) wants a lap top.

Here are Lefty and Righty in my womb. I've tried to draw arrows to them but alas my drawing skills are not what they should be!

Keep praying they stick around!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Am I Pregnant?

That's the only question that keeps running through my mind. We'll test on Wednesday the 12th. Thus the dreaded 2ww begins.

ET went fabulously. Once again due to my spectacular ER. Harry and I arrived at the center, after a slight 10 mile detour because we missed the Arlington Memorial Bridge exit and had to go 10 miles to turn around, but we did make it. We were the only ones there and were greeted by a nice nurse. We were getting ready and I introduced my self as the lady who had the epidural. She said she new all about me. Apparently I am the talk of the clinic. Imagine that. Everyone is shocked that I had to have the procedure and the RN agreed that if it had been any other anesthesiologist I would have been put under. Well we chatted for a bit, I took some Valium (YES thank you!), and waited for the lab tech and my RE to arrive.

RE arrived and brought Harry and I our babies first pictures! (I'll try to scan them later to show off). One little bugger sneaked in and we actually fertilized 12! A whole dozen! And of course my babies are top class little embryos! Most of them got an A on their very first test! Most of them were graded 8 cell Level I. A few were 6 cell level 2 and one 4 cell (he sort of looks like the elephant man--but we love him anyway)! So, RE asks how many we want to transfer. I ask her to pick the doctor and lawyer embryo. She says the ugly one is probably the doctor.

So we picked #2 and #4 8 cell level I and the rest went off to sleepy ice land for a snooze. ET was uncomfortable but over quickly and not really bad after every thing else we've been through. I even have a picture of my embie babies in my womb (yes, yes I will scan this too). They're just little specs.

I am on bed rest today and tomorrow. RE gave me permission to blog but then I have to return to my couch! I've also started my lovely vaginal suppositories! Ladies wear a pantie liner.

So, Lefty and Righty are hopefully gonna stick around to grow and become our real babies.

It really is still very hard to imagine there is life in me. After 2 years of trying and never know "if" it worked this month I know that there is a little part of Harry inside me. I am praying that they'll stick around.

Oh, I forgot to mention! I wore my froggy socks!