Waiting

Here I am.

Waiting. Again.

It seems my perpetual punishment. To always be waiting. To see what I desire and to have it just out of arms reach.

Waiting.

Harry and I put and offer in on a house 4 weeks ago. And we're still waiting. It's a short sale- so that means a bank must approve out offer and work with the seller to cover the difference in what is owed and what is offered.

So, we're waiting. Stuck in this eternal limbo.

Sometimes it seems all we do is wait.

Wait for a house.
Wait for a baby.
Wait for immigration (that's a whole other story)
Wait for work stuff to sort is self out (that was 3 months of hell)
Wait for a new job

Wait

Wait

Wait

I am so sick and tired of waiting. I seem to be the only one waiting. Everything seems to come so easily for others.

I know I am not alone. So help me feel better and tell me, what are you waiting for?

A Special Gift

** Warning: post mentions birth, babies, and mommies.**

My friend Bella gave me two of the greatest gifts this past Friday.

First, she allowed me to be present at the birth of her daughter. This has been such an amazing and eye opening gift. I will always treasure this gift and thank her from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to share in the special day!

Bella was induced on Friday and I was able to watch her journey through labor to the birth of her daughter. For those of you who have already taken this journey: WOW! For those of you who have yet to experience this life changing event: IT'S AMAZING.

Bella was so strong and brave. I admire her and am so proud of her!

My god-daughter was born into this world with a full head of hair and the cutest poutiest lips I've ever seen! She's a tiny little peanut and so alert. Of course she's beautiful! An angel come to earth!

Bella is having difficulty breastfeeding. Her milk hasn't come in yet and her colostrum is gone! Any words of wisdom would be appreciated --I'll pass it all on to her.

I want to be with her every day! I can't wait to watch her grow into a strong, happy little girl.

The second gift Bella gave me was to ask me to be her daughter's Godmother. I am so honored to be chosen for this very special title. The Spanish have a wonderful word for Godmother. It is comadres. Co -mothers. I am awed and honored beyond words. During the birth Bella's mother kept calling us comadres. Hearing that just fills me with so much love and joy. It is such a special gift.

I am so blessed to have so many babies in my life. I have my nephew, little button; my Goddaughter, peanut; and very soon my new niece.

The pain of infertility is still there. It still stings and I still hear; "See, this is what you can't have". It's not as loud and my love for my babies muffles the shouting pain to a whisper. I still feel it and still know it's pain but I also know the joy and beauty of having children in my life. I will not let infertility steal that joy from me.

I WILL NOT.