Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Here I am.

Waiting. Again.

It seems my perpetual punishment. To always be waiting. To see what I desire and to have it just out of arms reach.


Harry and I put and offer in on a house 4 weeks ago. And we're still waiting. It's a short sale- so that means a bank must approve out offer and work with the seller to cover the difference in what is owed and what is offered.

So, we're waiting. Stuck in this eternal limbo.

Sometimes it seems all we do is wait.

Wait for a house.
Wait for a baby.
Wait for immigration (that's a whole other story)
Wait for work stuff to sort is self out (that was 3 months of hell)
Wait for a new job




I am so sick and tired of waiting. I seem to be the only one waiting. Everything seems to come so easily for others.

I know I am not alone. So help me feel better and tell me, what are you waiting for?


Becks said...

I am waiting for the pee stick to confirm that IVF 4 has failed just like the rest!!

Its all fun fun fun.

Hope the house news comes through soon.

Baby Deux! said...

Oh jeez, where do I begin? :o)

Patience, my friend. Life isn't a race. If and when it was meant to work out, it will. You can't write your life, only God can. I am actually convincing myself of this as I type! HA!

Sunny Jenny said...

Patience! Now that's an understatement!

I keep telling God, "Lord I know you're probably trying to teach me patience. Well I've been patience for XX years now. Haven't I been patient enough?"

Obviously the answer is no.

Amy said...

I'm waiting for:

-my husband to make an appt for his SA
-my puppy to be old enough to have him fixed
-the chance at IVF#2

And a bunch of other things...I've run out of patience as well.

beagle said...

I'm waiting for:
-a match
-a baby
-my turn

formerteacher said...

I am waiting for my husband's job to get better. I'm waiting for his mood to improve, so that the mood of our house is more calm. I am waiting to see who else is going to be fired since the new president is 'restructuring.'I am waiting for my worries to stop so I can sleep again. I'm waiting to have enough money to go back to school.
BTW, I was in the place you are now. I felt like I just wanted to know which way my life was going to go. The unknown made me literally crazy. Some of it did work out, and I am thankful every day for that. It will get better; I only wish I could tell you when.

PJ said...

Waiting also for:
Short term, waiting for IVF nurse to call!!!
Waiting for June. I'm a teacher.

Long term, waiting for a baby
waiting for husband to get his job/school stuff together so that we can find out where we will live in the future
waiting to find out where we will live so that I can work on my masters degree
If that doesn't come first, we are waiting for the housing market to get better

Waiting sucks. I'm with you on that.

Bea said...

I know - during the infertility waiting, other people's lives just seemed to flick by in fast motion. I think a lot of life is hurry-up-and-wait. Hope you get one of those spurts of action soon.


gracechild said...

patience has given way to trust for me. I'm just trusting that God is still good while i wait for my babies & a resolution to life's many complications

Alice said...

I have never typed a comment on a blog before! I'm not very technologically minded. But I just started a blog myself because I'm going through IVF. I'm just doing it to try and survive. I hope so much it works out for you. I'd love to say lots of wise and positive things and offer lots of encouragement but I just can't. In fact, all I can feel is anger that you are in this situation. You sound like you're being so brave. I don't know what else to say.


Namaste said...

Maybe it's happening to us because we have to learn how to wait?
Just kidding... I'm waiting my first IVF in July, but I feel like I'm waiting for the second one, in November... I'm so tired of waiting that I'm finnaly, somehow, calm.

Anonymous said...

Wow it's great to know that someone else is going through the same process and hell that my hausband and I are going through. We have tried two cycles already and are now are staring our 3rd. I don't talk to family and/ or friends because all they keep asking is the end product, not How are you dealing with this or how are feeling in general.

Dagny said...

I'm waiting to start cycling.

I am waiting on an mri to see if I will ever go back to work.

I am waiting to see if OHIP will cover part of my ivf.

I am waiting on the clinic, as always.

Sorry you are waiting too.

Nina said...

I am waiting for Sunny Jenny to get pregnant/loose weight/her house/her dreams fulfilled. The same holds for Beagle by the way and all the others still stuck in infertility hell.

I am also waiting for a new job, but as long as I don't proactively look for a new one, I guess I will wait infinetely.

I am no longer waiting the way I was waiting when we were waiting for Stella (and/or Ben). I wish nothing more than for you to get "here" too - arrived. I am "awaiting" you on the other side.

soralis said...

Thinking of you... waiting to hear there is a cure for all kinds of IF.

Take care

Carol said...

I am waiting to get pregnant.... It seemed simple enough 10 years ago when we decided to try but now I am wondering how I am going to cope without children............ I'm not sure I will be able to.

Anonymous said...

I completely understand how you feel. I am caught in the whirlwind of waiting too.

We standby waiting and watching as others become mothers and have joy and happiness.

Its like a football game....I am standing on the sidelines waiting and watching my whole team play without being put in the game once. I have been on sidelines for 15 years now and thru one husband and a divorce and now I am... waiting again... 4 years and 9 months to be married again. I will get married in a few months.

I waited patiently for that.. but I can only pray that my waiting to be a biological mom will not continue.

I understand and at this very moment I do feel your pain. I feel my own pain. I have not stopped crying since early this morning.

I do understand.

Patient said...

Dear other IF couples, I am thankful that you all have shared your experiences in these blogs as I was feeling I was the only one out there with the pain. But I am not alone and feel the same hurt that you all are feeling. Its sad that there are so many of us out there.

Can I ask you for some advice and encouragement?
When I first got married, I was struggling with settling into that lifestyle and wanted to have kids 4-years down the road as I was not ready to be a wife, daughter-in-law, and mother at same time. I wanted to be a mom, but when I was 100% content with my lifestyle, settled in my marriage, and able to give all my heart to that baby. Now we are into our 5years and ready, and we realized we have infertility problems. Now I feel guilty that I made my husband wait not knowing I would be seeing these problems. He is a perfect dad-to-be, loves kids more than I do, and I get teary eyed everytime I see his face at other babies or our nieces/nephews. He is cooperative and understanding in this matter, but I feel guilty of having deprived him. I know its not my fault, but what should I do. I am helpless. Any advice?
--Eagerly waiting for positive feedback and support (Patient)

Anonymous said...

To Patient, you did your best at the time. It's great that you realized you weren't at a point when you could get pregnant. That's the mark of a good parent-to-be. Don't beet yourself up.

On another hand:
I'm waiting for my husband to start thinking strategically about his career.
Waiting to see if he'll have a job next year.
Waiting to get an appointment with the clinic
Waiting to get leave time
Waiting for things to get settled at work
Waiting for our family to grow...

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting to go to the Dr. to see if I can even achieve ovulation this month, much less a chance at pregnancy. I'm waiting to stop taking these Steroids they have me on because they make me feel like crap - in so many ways. I'm waiting to go to the bathroom - because the Steroids have also made me constipated. I'm waiting for Mother's Day to come and pass so that I can deal with another failed year and move on. I'm waiting to make a billion plans that are just pending until I find out whether or not we'll be blessed with a baby any time soon. I'm waiting to stop feeling so depressed over my infertility problems. I'm just waiting...

Anonymous said...

You are not alone so hang in there and always get as much information as you possibly can...I've learned that one the hard way!
Good luck!

Patience said...

I am awaiting my first IVF process. I am awaiting and fearing the call that says at the end of the 2-month process, I will be negative again. Just too scared to hope and think positive.

Molly said...

I found your blog through a google search adn thought I would comment and let you know that I too am struggling through infertility with many rollercoaster emotions. It seems that for each time there is hope, there are 50 moments of despair.

Michelle said...

I am so glad a found someone that feels exactly like me. I feel like i am about to give up. The depression when i start my period every month is the worst. I feel like a baby is never going to happen for me and my husband. Both of my husband's sisters are pregnant and my sister just had a baby so you can imagine how awful i feel right now. I too am sick of waiting for EVERYTHING that i want.

Lindsey said...

I am waiting to become pregnant, waiting to stop feeling jealous of friends and guilty about not being able to provide a child for my dear husband who I made wait till we were married and settled!
I am waiting for an operation to look inside me, I'm waiting to start taking ovulation pills next cycle. I have really long cycles and this depresses me.