Tuesday, February 19, 2008


You know you think I would have learned not to watch the baby show on that learning channel. Well apparently I am a hard learner. I watched an episode last week and had a minor melt down. I stopped and thought, "Oh. I'll watch this for Bella's sake". Well I of course had an emotional breakdown and rememeberd that I should be pregnant now and that I should be preparing to bring my baby into the world. But I am not.

You know, I've been reflecting on this "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda" thing. And you know I've decided it I "should" be something I "would". does that make sense?

I am tired of saying; "I should be pregnant", "I should have lost weight", "I should have gone back to school". All this energy and time spent shoulding is not doing me any good.

I've got to give it up and let it go.

If I should be pregant I would be.

On anothoer note...
Still working with my Doctor for my mandatory Physcian assisted weightloss program. That is not going to well. I think I lost maybe 5 lbs. But, hey, I am not really trying.

On the home front -we're buying a house!! The housing market has slumped that we can actually afford a house! We have to move one county south (longer comute) but we can purchase a single family home! We're so excited. We found one we LOVED. But alas someone beat us with a better offer! So we're still looking.

We've been TCC the old fashion way. Ok, you can stop laughing now. It feels good to try. And we're actually not stressed about it. We're having fun (wink, wink) and if it happens, YIPPEE.

My God-daughter is due next month. I am so excited to meet her! I planned her momma's baby shower and actually did ok.

That't it for now. I've been tagged by Bonnie so I'll post tomorrow with my tag response.


Beagle said...

Good Luck house hunting and yay for fun times between the sheets!

Bonnie said...

I know what you mean about the weight loss. I had my four week check up today about my mandatory weight loss - I had lost some, but i think my doctor was little taken aback when I told her sometimes I find it hard to care! Anyway, good luck finding your perfect house~ it's out there!

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

I'm glad you're doing well. There is an ease in your writing that hasn't been there before, even with the touch of sadness at the start of the post.

Bea said...

You do sound better in this post.

Good luck with the weight loss - I do hope it goes better soon.

About the shoulda coulda woulda - it's hard to give it up, but so much better for your mental health.

Happy house hunting! How exciting!


gracechild said...

good luck on the house. first home is always a fantastic achievement :)

formerteacher said...

That is great news about the house! You'll be putting positive energy into something else that you've wanted for a long time. When I finally decided to forget about decorating the 'nursery room', and instead made it what I wanted, I really did feel a sense of peace. Plus, it was fun planning it and seeing it come to fruition. You will love your new house! This is a great thing!

I think we all get stuck in the could've should've-s. I know I do!
You know I couldn't believe that you were able to host a baby shower. I couldn't, still find it hard, to even be a guest at one. I used to avoid them like the plague! How did you do it?

Good luck on the weight loss. Don't put too much pressure on yourself there. You've been through a lot this year!

Ahuva Batya said...

You sound strong right now, and optimistic! It's great that you are able to examine the shoulda-woulda-coulda possibility and come to peace with what IS. I wish you luck with your house buying-- that can be so exciting!

PJ said...

I'm right there with ya sista!

My RE hasn't said anything about loosing weight, but I know that I am about 40 pounds overweight. I keep thinking, well if I loose it then I won't be such a huge cow when pregnant. But then I think, well what if I get pregnant, then I shouldn't be restricting calories. Yet, I could be doing this for years--as apparently many people do. It's hard. I'm with ya.

See my blog, I've got a post this week about my obsession with the Discovery Health Channel! Why do we do this to ourselves?

Keep up the good fight. :)