CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Secret Decision

I've made a secret decision.

I haven't discussed it with my husband yet.

Just my therapist.

Now I am going to confess to blogland...

I am not doing another fresh cycle until August.

I am not made of the same stuff some of you IVFers are. I can't jump from cycle to cycle -- disappoint met to disappointment. You're all so strong.

I know the odds say - more IVF cycles = greater chance of conception.

But I am still too broken.

For now I am concentrating on work and my health.

I am giving my meds to my clinic to give to a non-insured client. I can't look at them any longer.

I just have to find the courage to tell Harry. I don't know how he'll react.

13 comments:

margo said...

You have to do whatever is best for you Jenny. I hope that your hubby understands. We'll be here for you in August.

Robin said...

I am with you sister! I am not that tough either. Hell my cycle was last JUly and I'm still not over it. You just take care of you, everyone else will just have to understand.

Robin said...

I hear you sister! I am not that tough either. Hell, my failed cycle was last July and I'm still not healed from it. You just do what is right for you and everyone else will just have to deal. I'm here for you.

Just another Jenny said...

You are strong, and damn smart for realizing the time you need to heal. You know I'll be here cheering you on when the time comes.

Bea said...

I think you're strong. And I'm of the opinion that - unless there's a good reason you *need* to push ahead - you should take a break whenever you feel like it. Dragging youself kicking and screaming through another cycle is insanity.

Bea

Bea said...

Oh, and good luck with Harry.

Bea

soralis said...

I am hoping your conversation with your hubby goes well. Maybe he will need a break too. Good luck and enjoy your break!

Beagle said...

I did so much back to back stuff due to my "advanced maternal age" blah, blah, but it finally broke me so I am all for taking a break if you can. You need to take care of you. I think your husband will understand, good luck with telling him your decision.

GLouise said...

Aww- I can totally relate to this post. It is exhausting.

Sending you some e-hugs.

Angie said...

You have to do what is right for you. Here for you!

N said...

It took me such a long time to just get over the outer parts of my pain for the cancelled IVFs during 2006. It is totally OK that you don't want to cycle before August, and even if you don't feel ready then, don't worry. Harry will (and should) understand that. Don't make it a secret for him, or he will feel left out. I am glad you took this decision. You are so right, your health (mental and pysical) comes first of everything.

Many hugs, N

The Town Criers said...

I hope he reacted well.

I think it's brilliant that you know yourself so well. And you need to do what you need to do to get through the experience. If waiting to cycle again will help, you should wait to cycle.

shazz said...

Enjoy your break and I agree it takes a strong person to realise they need a break!