A Scare and Some Good News

IVF
Friday I was spotting....

Of course this sent me into a minor freak out.

I called my BFF at 6:30 am who rushed over and took my to me RE.

RE did a scan which showed a beautiful yolk sac in just the right place at just the right size. BETA came back at 4995.

So, spotting is pretty typical and in my case nothing to worry about. I haven't really had any since Friday so I am relieved.

Everyday is just another step closer to a real live baby. These are going to be the longest 9 months of my life!

ADOPTION
Yesterday I went to see a different doctor. My husband, daughter, and I were in the exam room talking about my baby and my pregnancy and then the doctor said (in regards to my adoptive daughter) "even though she's not yours." - No worries - that doctor is still alive. I quickly corrected her and could see she was slightly embarassed. My daughter is 100% mine. We share no DNA and I didn't carry her in my womb - but none the less she is 100% mine. She is the answer to years of tears and prayers and is a complete gift and blessing to me. She is mine and will be mine forever.

On another note ....we receive the adoption petitions yesterday!! We're signing them today and then sending them off to the court! Hopefully we'll have a court date sometime this summer to finalize the adoption for our beautiful baby girl!

My follow up scan is set for July 7.

3rd BETA

So far so good.

I think my biggest problem is over thinking this whole thing. I am dealing with a bit of "survivors guilt" I really need to stop Googling BETA numbers. I feel so horrible for all the women who have recently experienced loss in the online community. To top it off a good friend of mine (who conceived without any reproductive assistance) just miscarried at 8 weeks. Our babies would have been weeks apart. What makes me any different? All the stories of babies lost are running through my mind and now I remember why I took a break from IVF for so long!

I did go for blood work again this morning. My numbers are 903 hCG. My doctor is very pleased and doesn't want to see me until July 7 for a scan. So I guess this is good.

Hesitantly Happy

Well, I am still pregnant!

However, I am so freaked out that something will go wrong. I know so many women who've been where I am and don't end with a healthy baby.

I went in for more blood work this morning. BETA level was 133. Doctor said it was good. Is it good? I would have loved a 200 or something.

Why can't I be over the moon happy? Why I am constantly checking to see if there is blood?

Ugh, infertility really messes with you!

I go back Monday for blood work again.

Hoping I can stay sane until then!

Unbelievable

It's happened.

That day I never thought would come!

I am PREGNANT!!!

My RE confirmed my results yesterday!

At 11DP3DT My BETA was 53 mIU/hCG

I go Thursday for more blood work!

I can't even begin to describe the feeling of complete bliss! This is amazing!

Of course as anyone who's struggled with infertility knows, the journey is just beginning.

I've passed the first hurdle! Now I just need to stay pregnant! I'll post again about specifics!

4 dp3dt

Well here we are again.... Waiting....

We transferred 3 embryos on Thursday (June 2)

1 - 8 cell grade 2
1 - 8 cell grade 3
1 - 7 cell grade 4

Transfer was great. I really love our RE. She is amazing and has been with us these past 5 years.

I am trying my hardest to stay calm and not read into symptoms or lack there of.....

Waiting with a 6 month old is definitely different than waiting all alone.

I am doing much better this time than previous times - although I do swing back and forth from I think I am pregnant - to it didn't work....

So, I'll just be here...waiting...