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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Letter

Don't you know just when you're plugging along doing fine, finally getting some peace in the IVF world ...

A letter comes from out of no where to pull the rug right from underneath you!

Our RE has decided to change labs. We have 4 frosties at said lab. So Harry and I have a major decision to make just at a point where we don't want to make any reproductive decisions. YES!

Here are our options:
1. Destroy our frosties
2. Undergo a FET before October 1 at current lab
3. Have frosties moved to new lab and pay transportation costs
4. Do nothing and abandon our frosties

We can't come to an amicable decision. Our 4 frosties are the bottom of the embryo barrel. Matter of fact I don't expect them to survive the thaw. But you know what, they're my frosties and I love them. Harry wants to move onto a fresh cycle and abandon the 4 underachievers.

I am stressing about making a decision, rushing into a FET, and possibly impending marital discord in my home.


decisions, decisions, decisions . . .

11 comments:

serenity said...

That's a tough decision; I am so sorry that you and Harry need to figure this out.

Maybe a compromise is to pay the $$ to transfer them over so you at least have options??? Might be a way to buy some time until you're really ready to make a move.

Just a thought. Hugs - I am sorry you have to deal with this on top of all the IF bullsh*t.

Angie said...

I am granting you the strength to make a decision. My thoughts are with you!

seattlegal said...

That is a tough decision. I honestly don't know what I'd do in your situation. So sorry you have to make this decision at all!

N said...

Sweety I am so so sorry that you have to make this tough decision right now. For some reason I am thinking..."why can't they keep the frosties where they are and either demand that the RE takes them from the lab when it's time for the thaw (i.e. later on when you feel ready to use them) or wouldn't it be an option to go with another RE, who uses the lab where the frosties are?

Personally for me, who didn't even get frosties (or anything else remotely embryo-like) the thought of you abandoning the frosties or destroying them appears very hard. Can't they stay at the lab. Keep them frozen there, for some time, maybe after you next fresh cycle?

Whatever decision you take, it will be the right one. There are no what if's etc. I know I'm giving you assvice, but that's all I got here.

Good luck. I know you are going to make the right decision, whatever that will be. Every decision that you take together will be right in some way I think.

I am thinking of you and wish that you didn't have to take this decision right now (or any time for that matter).

Hugs!

/N

Ps: Sorry for this super-long comments....

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

That's tough. I think that if it were me I would pay to have them transferred to the new lab. That way you can use them down the road when you are ready. I hope that you and your hubby are able to work something out, and I am sorry that you have to deal with this. Hugs.

Bea said...

Yeah - I guess it would depend how much it cost to transport them, too.

I'll refrain from saying, "Well, if it was *me*...." because, you know, it's not.

Bea

sube said...

I'm with Serenity. If the transportation costs aren't outrageous, that seemss like the best option to preserve your future choices and your sanity. Tough decision, though ...

Spanglish said...

My frosties cause heartache as well. I agree with serenity. You can discuss fresh vs. frozen some other time, but at least hold on to the frozen just in case.

Sunny Jenny said...

Thanks all for the comments and care. N- I could leave my frosties at the lab but then would have to work with another RE for the transfer. That's not going to happen. It would be like working with another husband. ;) I love my RE and couldn't imagine have anyone else up my cooter. I'll be posting an update soon.

Amy said...

I think Serenity's idea is a good one. Transfer them over so that you can decide later. It's a difficult decision and you shouldn't have to rush to make it, this way you'd have a little more time to discuss it or just forget about it for a while if you aren't in the mood to make any reproductive decisions. Good luck. I'm sorry that something like this popped up out of nowhere when you needed some time away from IF.

soralis said...

So sorry to hear that you have to make a decision, like IVF isn't complicated enough.

As for the FET, I am all for going for that as that is the only time I have had a successful cycle so I believe that you just never know... but that's just my opinion!! :)

Take care and good luck. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you!