Tuesday, May 30, 2006

BIG Chicken Little

Why am I such a freak?

I know the injections don't hurt. In the past 5 months I've been injected hundreds of times. And yet, on Sunday as I was starting my PIO injections I had a freak out of Biblical proportions.

So, after reading dear
Julie's post, I totally identify myself as a Newbie or at least a slightly tainted Newbie. I do carefully read and reread and give dear Harry step by step instructions because you know he may forget one very important and irreversible step. I am a control freak..this is know.

On Sunday we went to my folks house in beautiful southern Maryland and had a nice barbecue. It began as a small twinge in my tummy around 4 o'clock--- only 3.5 hours to injection. I had to show my dad my honking needles --which he quickly said


Of course it was cruel of me considering he has a deep needle phobia. About every 20 minutes I had to tell someone I was getting anxious and rethinking the Prometrium suppositories.

Harry really was a jewel! He kept reminding me that I've had a PIO injection with a bigger gauge needle and know they don't hurt. True but that injection was given with Valium and a highly trained medical professional. Poor Harry can't win.

Harry did tell me he was very proud of me for going the extra step to try and insure a successful cycle and he knew how hard it was for me. I think I'll keep him.

I've been asking on message boards about this PIO thing and had a few suggestions which I'll share with you.

1. Warm the oil by placing it in your bra under your boob. The warm oil is easier to jab into your poor defenceless muscle.

2. Ice the area until your fingers are so numb you can't grab your husband's wrist to stop him from injecting you.

3. Lie on the opposite side of your injection to allow the muscle to relax and so your husband can jump on you and hold you down should you try to escape.

4. Close your eyes and sing LA LA LA LA LA LA repeatedly, high pitched, and loudly. *

I did all 4 and they helped.

So... 7:30 rolls around and I am lying there numbing the area when I had a panic attack. My heart rate soared, I began to sweat and I couldn't breath.


I had to get up and walk around. It was scary and completely unnecessary. I don't know what the deal was. When I finally calmed down and allowed Harry to give me the injection it didn't hurt and I couldn't feel a thing.

To top it all off I forgot my alcohol pads and was freaking out about germs! Then I thought WWJD - What Would Julie Do. Then the solution was clear as a bell - use spit! -- No thankfully my mother had alcohol pads laying around for such a time as this.

Why am I so weird?

On the FET front
Things are right on plan. Thursday is the day. So I'll have two days of blissful motherly thoughts followed by panic stricken depressing thoughts of failure and futilely.

If you're the praying type please send a word to the man upstairs for my babies and if you're not do a fertility dance or something.


* #4 is my own personal addition to the PIO Injection steps.


amanda said...

Good luck!!!

Just another Jenny said...

You are not weird at all. I read the same post of Julie's and thought "OMG, I am such a newbie".
I will be thinking of you all day Thursday. Seeing that you are always one step ahead of me, I'll need all the details - how many thawed, how many transfer, etc, etc!

Rachel said...

You're not weird. You're normal. Seriously, even if you've done this before, you're doing something that just isn't "normal", so freaking out about it *is* normal. Rereading that, I'm not sure that makes sense to anyone but me. Maybe I'm the weird one.

soralis said...

Good luck! I will say a prayer for you and do some kind of funky dance!

Take care

UtRus said...

nothing abnormal about you!!

however, a panic attack is really not fun and i hope you are ok.


Anonymous said...

Well seeing how I'm beyond barren I won't be doing any kind of dance... and I'm still not on speaking terms with God, but I'll wish on eyelashes, rainbows, breezes, and sunshine that your frozen embies nestle in for a long, healthy 38 weeks.

serenity said...

Definitely not weird- I am freaked by the thought of PIO shots. I will be thinking about you on Thursday...

*doing a fertility dance for you*